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Humor: Limericks

Need something to cheer you up or serve as a study break? This guide will give you a laugh! It's also good for any research you're doing that involves humor.

Definition

limerick is a kind of a witty, humorous, or nonsense poem, especially one in five-line anapestic or amphibrachic meter with a strict rhyme scheme (AABBA), which is sometimes obscene with humorous intent.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry)

Websites

Note: Limericks tend to have a higher incidence of "dirty" or obscene content.

Limericks

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
In space that is quite economical.
   But the good ones I've seen
   So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

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A preoccupied vegan named Hugh
Picked up the wrong sandwich to chew.
   He took a big bite
   before spitting, in fright,
"OMG, WTF, BBQ!"

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There once was a sculptor named Phideous
Whose sculptures by most were thought hideous
   He carved Aphrodite
   Without even a nightie
Which shocked all the fussy fastidious.

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'Tis a favourite project of mine,
A new value of pi to assign.
   I would fix it at 3,
   For it's simpler, you see,
Than 3 point 1 4 1 5 9

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There once was a man from Japan
Whose limericks just didn't scan.
   When asked why this was,
   he answered, "Because
I always try to cram as many syllables into the very last line as I possibly can."

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There once was a glorious cake.
The sight of it made my heart ache.
   I ate the last slice,
   my heart turned to ice,
So now a new cake I must bake.

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A dying mosquito exclaimed,
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
   The cause of his sorrow
   Was para-dichloro-
Diphenyl-trichloroethane.

----------

The limerick is never averse
To expressing itself in a terse
   Economical style
   And yet, all the while
The limerick is always a verse.

----------

There once was a farmer from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
   It soon came to pass
   He was covered with grass
But has all the tomatoes he needs!

----------

There once was a man from Peru
Who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
   He woke with a fright
   In the middle of the night
To find that his dream had come true.

----------

A very sad poet was Jenny.
Her limericks weren't worth a penny.
   In technique they were sound,
   Yet somehow she found
Whenever she tried to write any
She always wrote one line too many.

----------

If you catch a Chinchilla in Chile
And cut off its beard, willy-nilly,
   You can honestly say
   That you have just made
A Chilean Chinchilla's chin chilly!

----------

There was an old man
From Peru, whose lim'ricks all
Look'd like haiku. He

Said with a laugh "I
Cut them in half, the pay is
Much better for two."

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